How to deal with unrequited love

unrequited love

If you haven’t experienced it already, at some stage in your life you may have to deal with unrequited love. Taylor Swift touched on it in her song ‘You belong with me’.

If you can see I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see
You belong with me
You belong with me

┬ęTaylor Swift

Unrequited love or one-sided love is when romantic feelings for a person isn’t reciprocated. You may be the person with the feelings or you may have someone interested in you but the feelings are only one sided. It could be heartbreaking for either person so how should you deal with unrequited love?

When their feelings aren’t reciprocated

  1. Do they know you like them?
    This is the first question that has to be answered before you can go any further
    Sometimes people are oblivious to romantic feelings so they need to know how you feel. If you want to tell them but can’t face the task of doing it yourself, friends are always the next best option. This will be the first step in knowing if the feelings or interest is reciprocated
  2. You can’t make someone like you
    As much as you have strong feelings for someone, you can’t force someone to feel the same. Feelings on your part is not an obligation from their part. As much as we feel we would be the best choice, they may not think the same. People are attracted to others for a particular reason. So what you think is the attracting force, they may not think the same.
  3. Don’t put your life on hold thinking things may change
    While ever you are waiting around hoping things might change and feelings may grow, you may be missing out on meeting ‘the one’. Mr/Mrs right may be just around the corner and by focusing on something that potentially may never happen you are missing opportunities. Don’t sit at home pining….get out there and meet people.

When your feelings aren’t reciprocated

  1. Be Kind
    If someone is making it clear they have feelings for you but you don’t feel the same way, let them down easy. Treat them the way you would like to be treated. Be honest and don’t ignore them. Let them know that you like them as a friend but don’t think you would be right for them as a girlfriend. This strategy allows you to put the reasoning back on to you and not them making them feel even more embarrassed and upset. After this, give them a little space.
  2. But what if my feelings grow?
    Don’t ever date someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. Feelings can grow over time yes but there has to an initial attraction in some area before this can happen.
  3. When you should be worried
    Rejection of any kind is hard to accept and some people don’t take romantic rejection too well. So if the reaction to your rejection results in abuse, you need to block the offender immediately. There is no exception for abuse no matter how hurt they feel. If the abuse escalates and you feel scared or intimidated, you will need to report the abuse to your family or the police.

Everyone at some stage may go through unrequited love in their lifetime, but no matter whether it’s you or someone else on the end of it, there is always someone for somebody in the world….it might just not be the right time.

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